I can see for miles and miles

I think I know what they meant by having magic in their eyes.
Well, it was partly drugs (but that doesn't come into play here) and partly mysticism--the kind you get when you feel the world is in your hands. It's when you know you can obtain anything you could want in an immediate sense. Maybe not all your dreams in one, but mostly anything you could want for the time being.

I reek of incense from going to The Psychic Eye. I hung out with an old friend from elementary school for the first time in ages. I tried to pretend I wasn't thinking of other people, but my love and the third man kept randomly passing through my thoughts. I worry about Anthony...and as for the third man, sometimes I still find myself wishing, even if it's not something I really want exactly.

I reconnected with myself today. Just being in that store made me think of all the possibilites that come from the world around us. I'm basically in a trance right now. I just keep seeing the things that were there and thinking on things greater than me. There's so much beauty, depth and meaning out there...and to think, we'll never live long enough to see and understand it all. It's bizarre.

I'm tempted to buy some tarot cards and rearrange everything I have to reflect on these ideas. I'm not going wacko religious junkie on anybody...I still want to be me, Catholicism (yes, I'm Catholic. Shut the fuck up.) and all. Speaking of which, tomorrow is Easter and I won't see my best friend in the universe because...well, I don't know why. My cousin means the world to me, and I got a slight chance to see her today--but her parents denied us of it. Ha, how depressing. You know, I've noticed, everything seems wrong with the world. I guess it's up to ourselves to keep our worlds straight. To be honest, at this point my life isn't so bad, I just think I'm completely scrambled.

You know, probably nothing I've said here makes any sense.
But in some way it means a lot to me.
I can't even fathom what goes on in my own head.
And somehow, I don't think that's important.

As long as I can see beyond my own input, maybe...well, I'm not entirely sure.

I'm too physically drained to be sure. All I know is where my heart is and where my creativity is taking me. Maybe I can close my eyes and see further. It's a contradiction to top all contradictions, but sometimes the unconscious is a better indicator than the waking world and conscious thought.
And maybe when I sleep, I can visit him for a moment. Bastardo.
Bastardo, bastardo, bastardo....

My eyelids are heavy.