Go ask Alice when she's 10 feet tall

Yesterday, as Pearl and I called it, was a useless Monday. Went in to the newsroom on our day off to work on the paper and only about three other people did so in return. A writer walked out on my story and all I had was a blank page. Our adviser was right--we are burnt out. Later I sat with the guru for the first time in ages. I think I may have thrown off a few people by it, but I was too immersed in everything. Pearl and I shared a meal, too, and talked about things we never get the chance to in the company of others. I went home and pulled out my Twilight Zone box set and sat in its strange wonders and almost intergalactic theme song. I heard Rod Serling, clear and close in my ear. I lied back afterward, after noticing how long everything took and sank into some Pink Floyd while I still had the chance. After my moment, my very long moment, I was no longer watching all the world with silence and patience. Not that I burst into speech. Actually, I was quite numb in the tongue, with this feeling of film all over and heavy grip on my jaw. My tongue seemed dead as it tickled tiny feelings of numbness throughout. My own silence does everyone some good.

Today was one pain after another. No one is anything at all like the guru. I felt like I belonged too much perhaps as everyone seemed to slowly be throwing in the towel on this evening. I wish I could have driven in the peace just like yesterday, where I was not concerned about the slowing traffic or how long everything was taking. And even though I noticed everything takes such a long time, I long for the times where I don't even notice it. Perhaps this weekend, in the midst of competition and the like, time will pass slowly by itself, but gracefully over me. If only tonight could be a bit number, a bit quieter, without the thought of who is doing what and how I'm ever going to finish and what I plan on doing about anything. Time is always too fast when you don't want it to be, even when the hours drag the way they do. Until tomorrow, I suppose. Until the next time I can relinquish the time I have for something more soothing will I remember what I have said here.